Boil Water

Boil Water

Water. H20. 水.

Drinking cold or ice water will cause your Chi to rebel. The body is warm. It is meant to stay that way. Cold and ice will destroy the fire inside you, leaving you to be a useless puddle.

To be truly Chinese, one must boil water and drink it hot.

Not only will it destroy all bacteria and chemical treatments your authoritarian government has insisted upon, it will fill you with the key energy you need to survive.

In addition, do not use metal pots or “tumblers” as such items contain treated electrons that can leach into your water even after it has boiled. Do not use paper cups, as you do not know where they were produced. Do not use plastic, because you may burn your hand.

Only ceramic beverage-ware is pure enough to hold your water.

You must also drink in quiet sips, not loud gulps. Not because it can affect your health but because it’s very annoying.

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With decades of experience being Chinese in America, I am fully qualified to tell Real-Americans everything they need to know about being Chinese.