Rearing the Perfect Child: How to Join the Model Minority

Rearing the Perfect Child: How to Join the Model Minority

Look at the top students for any school with any Chinese attending and you will notice a trend. They are Chinese.

Look at your most prestigious, non-liberal-arts schools: Berkeley, Stanford, MIT, UCLA and Cal-Poly, and who’s at the top of the engineering, math, and science departments? You got it.

A society that can make a billion people is not going to agonize about neglecting, damaging or destroying a single life.

In fact, in many universities, Chinese freshmen enrollment is already surpassing that of Caucasian students. And if you have Chinese in your high school or junior high school: fuggetaboutit.

Chinese students will turn ordinary kids into lunch meat – not even good lunch meat. Extrapolate this ten to fifteen years and it’s very clear who is going to be taking over the business world. Smart Chinese kids are not only getting good grades, but they are well on their way to being successful, contributing members of society.

Don’t miss the bamboo boat!

You can be taught how to raise your children to be Chinese, or at the very least, provide us with a little competition pathetically sad as it may be. The Chinese word for “home” is the same as the word for “family,” (家) and that’s where it all has to start.

Why are Chinese kids so well behaved and ultimately successful? Two reasons: Conditioning and Fear.

Actually, the conditioning is fear. An angry Chinese parent is just about the scariest creature you can imagine. Who knows what they’re capable of? They’re all mysterious and quiet, then all of the sudden foaming mad with murderous rage.

While Real-Americans are fretting a terrorist strike on their corn fields or hiding their kids from local sex offenders who they’ve never met, Chinese kids are cowering at the more realistic threat of getting a B+.

You think having a Chinese boss is bad, try being in a Chinese family. A society that can make a billion people is not going to agonize about neglecting, damaging or destroying a single life.

That said: discipline is rarely necessary in the case of rearing a Chinese child. The amount of guilt and fear a Chinese kid can feel when they’ve done something wrong is so great that no act is worth risking the emotional consequences and no punishment is required to reinforce parental edict.

Children are much more susceptible to verbal and emotional training than physical. Physical training can take a long time and require a lot of energy by both parties. It also involves a significant number of tools (coat hangers, belts, whips, cleavers) and possible court appearances.

Verbal and emotional training, however, can be accomplished with just a look, a gesture, a few choice words given at the right moment for maximum humiliation. The result of which is a lifetime of domestication and detention. In addition, there are no laws against it and quick-strike discipline works in public or in the home. So for the sake of all, don’t beat your child. Berate him.

So when does it begin, this extraordinary conditioning? Well, it happens even before the children are conceived, because it starts with the potential parents who were also reared by this conditioning. Productive parents raise productive children. It’s the circle of life.

The Chinese have generations upon generations upon generations following these unwritten codes of conduct, and if everything goes well, there’s no question that the secret formula will continue working and you won’t have to mess with it.

Raising a child to be Chinese leaves little time and expense for foo-foo activities like girls and fast cars that take away from the real goal: getting a respectable job.

Excelling in school, having a six-figure salary, these are the norms, not something to be proud of. These are expectations handed down from parent to child. Class is everything. No one wants to be a bum in the family, and no one wants to drop the ball of almost 5,000 years. It is like an eternal quilt woven in the flesh of ancestry. It’s like a contracted destiny handed down from some great mysterious super-being.

The amount of ridicule and shame in denying your ancestors is too great. And if you unravel the quilt by not becoming part of it, you will kill your parents with disappointment worse than any cancer. You’ll also kill all that they and the generations before them have worked for.

This is the eternal truth understood by all Chinese children, and it is why our fabric is strong and beautiful and uniform and eternal.

Photo Credit: ToGa Wanderings via Compfight cc

With decades of experience being Chinese in America, I am fully qualified to tell Real-Americans everything they need to know about being Chinese.